FEELING LIKE A FRAUD?
Do you…
feel unworthy?
Or feel like your success and achievements are down to luck?
Or feel that at any moment the bubble is going to burst and the people around you are going realise that you are a fraud?
If you can relate to any of these, chances are you may be suffering from Impostor Syndrome.
Impostor syndrome can be described as when an individual experiences
ongoing feelings of inadequacy despite all the evidence which points to their success.
‘Impostors’ generally suffer from chronic self-doubt and an ongoing sense of fraudulence or inadequacy. This feeling seems to override any feelings of success or evidence of their achievements or competence. It is almost as if “Impostors” seem to somehow be unable to internalise their accomplishments; however successful they are in their field. (1)
We also know that Impostor Syndrome strikes people everywhere, no matter their social status, work background, skill level, or degree of expertise. There does however seem to be an increased prevalence amongst high achievers and women.
Sadly, this feeling of inadequacy may lead to self-sabotaging behaviours and increased anxiety, both of which may lead to overwhelm and affect many areas of your life.
KEY INSIGHT #1:
If you can relate these feelings– YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
An estimated 70% of people experience these impostor feelings at some point in their lives, according to a published in the International Journal of Behavioural Science. (2)
ARE THERE PATTERS WHICH ALIGN TO THE OCCURRENCE OF IMPOSTOR SYNDROME?
YES!
Valerie Young, who is the author of a book called “The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women” has found that there are certain patterns in people who experience impostor syndrome feelings.
In her view they are two significant learnings from her research around Impostor Syndrome.
People who feel like impostors hold themselves to an unrealistic and unsustainable standard of competence, falling short of this standard evokes shame.
Impostors do not all experience failure-related shame the same way. And the reason is that they do not all define competence the same way.
Valerie’s research identified 5 different Competency types- each with their own unique focus. (3)
Here is a quick overview in my view of the different Competency types which may be present in an individual who experience impostor syndrome.
1) The Perfectionist:
Always focuses on “HOW” things are done and is striving to have everything “perfect”. These individuals will very often feel like they have failed because their work could always “be better!” Instead of accepting that things can never really be “perfect (as the opinion is always in the eyes of the beholder -and a story for another blog), they often find themselves reading through their emails or work over and over again? Fixing, tweaking, rechecking just in case one word or phrase or fact is wrong…? This can lead to a lot of self-pressure and anxiety.
2) The Soloist:
These individuals generally like to work on their own because they believe that asking for help from others means that they are a failure or are incompetent. Working on their own builds their sense self-worth and as a result they are unlikely to accept an offer for any assistance. They mainly focus on “Who” completes the task.
3) The Expert:
In the expert’s mind, they feel they need to be properly prepared or fully informed of all the information before they embark on a project or task. This often holds them back or hinders their performance as they constantly spend time upskilling or overpreparing for every possible scenario or question that may arise because if they can’t answer or handle the situation properly they will look stupid or have failed. They are the knowledge version of the perfectionist and focus on the “what” and “how much” you know or can do.
4) The Natural Genius:
These individuals feel the need to be a natural “genius.” Skills may usually come easily to them, however when it does not, they judge their competence unfavourably. They focus on the “how” and “when” based on the ease and speed of delivering the task. If they are unable to master the task quickly and efficiently then they see this as a failure.
5) The Superhero/ Superman/ superwoman
In Young’s view these individual’s feeling of inadequacy leads them to feel compelled to work as hard as possible. They generally feel the need to succeed in all aspects of life- at work, being a partner or being a parent. This extremely high standard of achieving in all aspect leads to high levels of stress, especially when not achieving in all areas. They tend to focus on “how many” roles they can juggle and excel in at the same time.
WHAT CAUSES IMPOSTOR SYNDROME?
There does not seem to be one clear cause for how impostor syndrome occurs.
Some schools that believe it has to do with personality traits – like anxious or neuroticism. (4) Whilst others believe is it do with our parents or our upbringing. For example, you might have come from a family that highly valued achievement or had parents who flipped back and forth between offering praise and being critical.
However, we also know that entering a new role can also trigger impostor syndrome.
For example, starting a new role or joining a team for a new project might leave you feeling as though you do not belong and are not capable.
KEY INSIGHT #2:
One common thread in all the thinking & research about how Impostor Syndrome occurs
is that it has to do with what we BELIEVE about ourselves.
Now as we all know, a belief can be defined by “an acceptance that something exists or is true, especially one without proof.” (5) A belief is there for basically something that we have repeated or said to ourselves enough times that we somehow believe it as true, whether or not we have supporting facts!
KEY INSIGHT #3:
A belief can be changed or mitigated.
So, if impostor syndrome is based on your belief about yourself and your abilities then this is something you can work with. It all starts with your awareness and then working towards re-wiring your brain and thinking by re-creating your story to believe that you are competent!
HOW CAN WE OVERCOME OR MITIGATE IMPOSTOR SYNDROME?
In my experience as a coach I have come to find that the below process not only help us to challenge and overcome our “Impostor” beliefs and behaviours, but it also helps us to move forward with greater ease and success.
1) RAISE YOUR AWARENESS OF YOUR THOUGHTS OR BEHAVIOURS
Awareness is the first step in taking back control of our thoughts or actions. When you start becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings you can begin to understand your pattern of thinking. This gives you the opportunity to change it! (Whether it is impostor syndrome or not!)
2) ASK WHETHER YOUR ACTIONS OR THOUGHTS ARE HELPING OR HINDERING YOU?
Once you are aware of your patterns (thoughts, feelings, behaviours), you can assess whether these elements are making you feel good or happy, or whether they are dragging you down and making you feel rubbish. The sweet spot of happiness is when you feel truly aligned to who you are and want to be in this life. (i.e. Your authentic self and your vision driven by your intended meaning, impact & influence in life)
3) TALK TO SOMEONE YOU TRUST
As we have said, 70% of people have suffered from impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. So, chances are that they can relate to what you are saying. The shame of feeling like an impostor often holds us back from letting others know how we feel inside. Sharing our experiences with a trusted source, not only helps us to process what is happening ourselves, but it also very often helps us realise that we are not alone. This could be a trusted friend (who has a good approach to life), a coach (like myself) or counsellor.
4) CONSIDER THE CONTEXT OF THE SITUATION
The reality is, sometimes we ARE just out of our depth. I so often see this with my clients when they start a new job or new project. At these times is good to assess what resources, skills, knowledge, or people will help us to feel more confident and in control. Thereby reducing our feelings of being an impostor.
5) BE COMPASSIONATE WITH YOURSELF
The truth is that it is highly likely that you have acted as best you think you could or should have up until now. You now have an opportunity from today to draw a “line in the sand” and make new choices or take the necessary actions that will help you to feel more confident.
6) RE-WRITE YOUR STORY
With Impostor syndrome this will be the key area of focus. Here the focus is all around changing your beliefs and understanding around your measure of competence and increase your self-belief by finding ways to acknowledge and connect to your successes. One of the tools we use here is a technique called “Thought stopping”.
7) VISUALISE YOUR SUCCESS
Our brains are hard wired and love having direction, much like putting co-ordinates into a Sat Nav. When we know where we are heading our lives will magically start moving in that direction. This is a key element in the process as we start placing focus on how we want to act and feel going forward. Thereby, improving our overall performance and transformation.A key influencer and authority in this area is Dr Jo Dispenza. I highly recommend listening to his podcast, documentaries or reading his books. He is amazing and I find a lot of his principles and approaches to be hugely transformational for my clients.
If you, or anyone else you know, thinks that they are suffering from Impostor Syndrome and feel that you are failing in making the necessary changes yourself, then please feel free to get in touch. I have many tools and techniques in which we can look to change a belief and build up your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I offer free 30 min Discovery calls, where we can find out a bit more about how I can possibly help you.
Thanks
Nicky
“Unleash your Authentic potential!”
SOURCES:
(1) https://hbr.org/2008/05/overcoming-imposter-syndrome
(2) https://time.com/5312483/how-to-deal-with-impostor-syndrome
(3) https://impostorsyndrome.com/5-types-of-impostors
(4) https://time.com/5312483/how-to-deal-with-impostor-syndrome
(5) http://www.differencebetween.net/
(6) https://www.verywellmind.com/imposter-syndrome-and-social-anxiety-disorder-4156469
EXTRA READING:
https://www.hoagiesgifted.org/impostor.htm